will i never be enough?

the day is bright
the sun shines
but the wind pierces
thru my skin
and the chill
reaches my bones
i am walking into the fire
and this i know
will cause me pain
why do i keep moving toward it
i question my ability to feel
i tell myself
i want to look into your eyes
to feel your lips
i want the fire of your hands
on my skin
just one more time
before i move on
is this fair to my heart?
you say you miss me
and that you think of me
yet you still don't want to see me
are you that afraid of me or of yourself?
i will not wait for you forever
why i've waited this long
i do not know
i do not understand
my need to be with you like no other
the dreams that the happily ever after could be
i want to believe your words
for my heart aches for them to become reality
yet you pushed me away
was it to be with another?
sleep does not come easy
for i miss your voice
you say you want casual
yet the thought of you with another
stabs me like a knife
yet i fear losing you forever
should i say no
my heart aches
tears fall
as i sit and wonder
will I ever be enough?